Love recipe: how to cook love in the kitchen
So you're a girl and you're in love... Certainly, you've also heard that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, today we are going to get around cooking that special dish you want to cook for you're special someone. we are going to talk about how to handle your sizzling passion; express the tenderness that is boiling within you, threatening to uncover the lid of your heart and spill over; how to blend it with the his breadth that literally steams you; his voice that easily simmers your emotions and finally serve out the long awaited dish of love. Excited? Let's get started.
Ingredients:
- A measure of cultural background that relegates cooking to women only. (also known as WEEK)
- A full grown man that barely knows how to cook but is an epicure or man that is too rooted in Chemistry (although he is not a graduate of food science and technology)
- A pinch of natural human pride
- A measure of hunger
- A
- High personal expectations or rather a desire to impress
We shall begin with the first ingredients in the list WEEK: Being a woman, who wants to secure that coveted space in the heart of her prince charming; you step into the kitchen as soon as the first opportunity presents itself with the intention of dazzling his taste buds with the results.
Let me also assume that you are a woman who was raised with the understanding that the kitchen is a woman's sanctuary; and its sacredness is such that men are excluded from stepping into it. Maybe our foremothers (permit me to use this word; as a result of the fact that I judge the accepted form of the word inapplicable in this very case) who had been defeated by their male counterparts on every front; have for centuries held this part of the house as their prized possession; and have taught us through generations to keep it out of bounds for men.
A "the full grown man who does not know how to cook": I think this should actually be rephrased into "the full grown man who is believed not to know how to cook". This man keeps breaking the law of women by making constant intrusions into the kitchen while the chief priestess is preparing her love portion. To add insult to injury, this man (no longer prince charming as the blindness of love has been replaced, momentarily, by the Magnifying Glass of Anger [MAGA]) blasphemes against the priestess; telling her that she is not doing it right (at that time, in your mind, there is a whirlwind saying: how dares he defy my authority! what does this unlearned fellow think he can teach me... he has no right to be here in the first place..). to this mix add a pinch (or add to taste, which may amount to a spoonful) of natural human pride and let it simmer.
In another pot add the full measure of hunger: Now, our kitchen romance should be heating up. The man's bowel begin to dance the dance of hunger which is a bit (did I say a bit? No, A LOT) out of tune with your gesticulations of love cooking. You are too desperate to get things right (when you have just added the high personal expectations ha!) that you fail to realise that time is passing.
Well it is at this stage thatyou, (sorry), he adds the measure of natural affection for his mother; and oh, yes, it's sizzling. It usually goes like this: "you cannot try this rubbish you are doing in my mother's kitchen". or "This is not the way my mum does it"; or again "my mum cooks fast, yet all her meals are tasty"; "my mum never..."; "my mum always ..." (you get the picture) at this point hmm hmm hmm you are frustrated; trying to: beat time, to prove yourself (in spite of the fact that this is unnecessary).
Here, things have gone from boiling to sizzling and currently, barbecuing. Panic mode is on and you start making silly mistakes giving Him more to talk about (that is to put it mildly, as we both know that there is another saying that tells us that a hungry man is an angry man...) Well as you should already have seen, things get sour... the battle line is drawn for the last stronghold of women (the kitchen) and you are the sum total of the warriors on the battlefield up against no one else but your man.
Dinning bell is ringing ding dong dong
Meal is ready, burned and enjoyed in due silence...
My Oh My. that was the recipe for disaster.
The Ingredients of love
Correct recipe
Start with an unlimited measure of love.(yeeeeesss!) to this, add co-operation and a bit of adventure into your prince charming 's world, (this may also involve humility to accept correction and suggestion). Let this simmer.
In another pot...
Don't assume that all men do not know how to cook excepting those who are trained to do so. Do not also think that being a woman makes you a better cook than any man out there (or in here...). Some men although they do not know how to cook do have genuine interest in kitchen affairs and keeping the kitchen off limits to them, with the excuse that they know nothing about it may seriously hurt their pride (because they actually know something especially when it comes to speed cooking, trust me). WEEK (Women's Education Ends in the Kitchen) is a most erroneous idea in that it does not even make you an expert cook and is an ugly relic of the forgone chauvinistic society.
On asking a few of my male friends, I found out that their would-be queen of hearts' cooking skills mattered to them. But guess what, it is not the taste of the food of their beloved that topped the list instead, it was the manner in which the food was cooked and dished that mattered most! Hence, let him in; turn up the fire for some kitchen show of affection (you will be surprised how this would stave off hunger for a length of time). Give him something to do and show him how. And if you are daring, take a seat, relax, and let him dazzle you while he does the cooking. By so doing you will learn his style and taste. After all, I know of men that taught their wives how to cook...
But in case you are stubborn and decidedly rooted in the old ways (no shades, you have the choice to be that way you know.), try to start and finish cooking before he comes back. This one will never fail except you are a bad cook... hee hee hee. anyi j'eve a mata ndi akwa shiri ike n'ukwu.
Optional: For married ladies you could buy time (that is when the meal is almost done and you have reduced the fire veeeery well, and the "junior associates" are safely tucked away) you could tell him that you ARE his dinner (assuming you fed him well in the afternoon). that way you will fulfill his other hunger and experience should have taught you that some kinds of (mhmm mhmm mhmm [throat clearing loudly]) exercise are better done on an empty stomach...
Lest I forget, dear men do not compare your beloved to your mother it is a very bad habit. Take her for who she is and lead her gently...
Spice up the above with Wisdom (da principal tin) and voila
The meal is ready.
Dear married ladies you are hereby challenged to write your own version(s) of love recipe. I assure you that many will benefit from your wealth of experience.
Let me also assume that you are a woman who was raised with the understanding that the kitchen is a woman's sanctuary; and its sacredness is such that men are excluded from stepping into it. Maybe our foremothers (permit me to use this word; as a result of the fact that I judge the accepted form of the word inapplicable in this very case) who had been defeated by their male counterparts on every front; have for centuries held this part of the house as their prized possession; and have taught us through generations to keep it out of bounds for men.
A "the full grown man who does not know how to cook": I think this should actually be rephrased into "the full grown man who is believed not to know how to cook". This man keeps breaking the law of women by making constant intrusions into the kitchen while the chief priestess is preparing her love portion. To add insult to injury, this man (no longer prince charming as the blindness of love has been replaced, momentarily, by the Magnifying Glass of Anger [MAGA]) blasphemes against the priestess; telling her that she is not doing it right (at that time, in your mind, there is a whirlwind saying: how dares he defy my authority! what does this unlearned fellow think he can teach me... he has no right to be here in the first place..). to this mix add a pinch (or add to taste, which may amount to a spoonful) of natural human pride and let it simmer. In another pot add the full measure of hunger: Now, our kitchen romance should be heating up. The man's bowel begin to dance the dance of hunger which is a bit (did I say a bit? No, A LOT) out of tune with your gesticulations of love cooking. You are too desperate to get things right (when you have just added the high personal expectations ha!) that you fail to realise that time is passing.
Well it is at this stage that
Here, things have gone from boiling to sizzling and currently, barbecuing. Panic mode is on and you start making silly mistakes giving Him more to talk about (that is to put it mildly, as we both know that there is another saying that tells us that a hungry man is an angry man...) Well as you should already have seen, things get sour... the battle line is drawn for the last stronghold of women (the kitchen) and you are the sum total of the warriors on the battlefield up against no one else but your man.
Dinning bell is ringing ding dong dong
Meal is ready, burned and enjoyed in due silence...
My Oh My. that was the recipe for disaster.
The Ingredients of love
- 1 cup of romance
- 2 cups of understanding & wisdom
- 1 cup of respect
- 1 cup of forgiveness
- 1 tbs of humor
- 3/4 cup of patience
- a dash of adventure &fearlessness
Correct recipe
Start with an unlimited measure of love.(yeeeeesss!) to this, add co-operation and a bit of adventure into your prince charming 's world, (this may also involve humility to accept correction and suggestion). Let this simmer.
In another pot...
Don't assume that all men do not know how to cook excepting those who are trained to do so. Do not also think that being a woman makes you a better cook than any man out there (or in here...). Some men although they do not know how to cook do have genuine interest in kitchen affairs and keeping the kitchen off limits to them, with the excuse that they know nothing about it may seriously hurt their pride (because they actually know something especially when it comes to speed cooking, trust me). WEEK (Women's Education Ends in the Kitchen) is a most erroneous idea in that it does not even make you an expert cook and is an ugly relic of the forgone chauvinistic society.
On asking a few of my male friends, I found out that their would-be queen of hearts' cooking skills mattered to them. But guess what, it is not the taste of the food of their beloved that topped the list instead, it was the manner in which the food was cooked and dished that mattered most! Hence, let him in; turn up the fire for some kitchen show of affection (you will be surprised how this would stave off hunger for a length of time). Give him something to do and show him how. And if you are daring, take a seat, relax, and let him dazzle you while he does the cooking. By so doing you will learn his style and taste. After all, I know of men that taught their wives how to cook...
But in case you are stubborn and decidedly rooted in the old ways (no shades, you have the choice to be that way you know.), try to start and finish cooking before he comes back. This one will never fail except you are a bad cook... hee hee hee. anyi j'eve a mata ndi akwa shiri ike n'ukwu.
Optional: For married ladies you could buy time (that is when the meal is almost done and you have reduced the fire veeeery well, and the "junior associates" are safely tucked away) you could tell him that you ARE his dinner (assuming you fed him well in the afternoon). that way you will fulfill his other hunger and experience should have taught you that some kinds of (mhmm mhmm mhmm [throat clearing loudly]) exercise are better done on an empty stomach...
Lest I forget, dear men do not compare your beloved to your mother it is a very bad habit. Take her for who she is and lead her gently...
The meal is ready.
Dear married ladies you are hereby challenged to write your own version(s) of love recipe. I assure you that many will benefit from your wealth of experience.
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